![]() ![]() Doing so will help you decide exactly what you need to do going forward and what your next steps might be. But if he refuses, then you should still go.Ĭlutter is a symptom of so many issues, and getting guidance from a certified professional counselor can help you work through those issues on your side. ![]() Of course, you can ask your partner to join you. The twist here is that the counseling is for you. Sometimes, if we let our partner know exactly what all of that stuff is doing to us - and the family - it can help them start to look at things from a different angle. I’ve often heard people say ‘my husband’s clutter overwhelms me.’ I totally get that! But perhaps your partner doesn’t even know. It’s ‘my stuff’ and we don’t even realize it’s having an effect on others. ![]() When we have issues with clutter, we tend to purely think about it in relation to ourselves. Point-blank ask your partner to do it ‘for you.’ Remember, this is NOT professional advice. Here are a few things that have either worked for me or I have seen work for others. It’s much lower-pressure than emptying an entire room and being confronted with an even bigger mess.Ĥ Things You Can Do If Your Partner Refuses to Declutterīut what if, no matter what you do, your husband STILL refuses to declutter? Then, once you’ve established that habit, try moving into what I call a Slow Declutter. Starting the habit of a nightly 10-minute tidy is a great way to get into the habit of preventing new clutter piles. He may be stuck feeling like a victim of clutter - although it’s possible he doesn’t realize that’s what’s happening. Remember, your partner may be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of stuff in his life… just like you were when you began decluttering. Reassure him that taking everything away is not the goal. Make the offer to work WITH him, and make sure he knows he will have the final say about every single item. Your spouse would likely feel the same, so just don’t even go there. How would you feel if someone went through your things and made decisions without consulting you? You would probably be hurt, angry, resentful… and unlikely to cooperate in the future. Never declutter your partner’s belongings without permission, even if you know it’s mostly trash or things that could easily be donated. This is like a no-fail motivator in my house. It probably also wouldn’t hurt to watch Hoarders-type shows together. Watching your positive attitude about decluttering over time is sometimes all it takes to help your partner see the possibilities in a clutter-free lifestyle, especially if you’ve both been clutter-keepers in the past. If you’re a naturally neat and tidy person who simply cannot comprehend how your partner keeps so much stuff, then patience is even more necessary.ĭeclutter your own stuff… and keep it that way. We don’t all have that lightbulb moment at the same time. If you’ve been through the process yourself, then you know how difficult it can be. Even if your partner is reluctant to get rid of anything right now, try one or more of these suggestions and see what happens!Ĭonverting someone from a clutter-keeper to a declutterer is a process. Now that I have a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be in a clutter-disparity relationship, here are a few things I’ve found that have had at least some success. Keep reading, and I hope you find some helpful tips. That said, there is hope! Helping a partner who resists decluttering doesn’t have to be a losing battle. But if you need person-to-person help, I suggest seeking counseling from a professional. I can tell you what works for me, and I can tell you what to do with your own clutter. I’ve been married for over 23 years, but I am not professionally trained to give anyone advice about how to deal with relationships. It’s best if this goes both ways, but even if it doesn’t… bashing your partner doesn’t help matters.
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